ZOTY 2018 VOTER ALERT!

Jerry Mandering heads the committee. 

I feel like the ZOTY award kinda peaked in 2015.

Who was the 2017 ZOTY?

 RRG?

Shark __ (jumped)

 

 

Bluelight was the strong front runner but he kinda petered out

Zoners of the year are all the quitters. No content is good content. 

 

>>I revieved a high level comunique from admin that they have been inundated with an extaordianry level of write in ballots

 

Sounds like voter fraud.  The ballot box was probably stuffed like the way Tulsa Chris admitted to stuffing his wranglers with an old gym sock.

The "Official Committee" brews their Starbucks with Nestlé water.

 

*** BOYCOTT ZOTY 2018 ***

Are the Zonies a tool of the patriarchy TOD?

Asking for a friend.

Thod, did admin tell you to cool it a little? 

No boycotting.  No abstaining.  Awards are annual. 

I'm a bit player on Viva, the small tree on the side stage of the zone. 

To that end, I will nominate Tom (Lance Newberry) for ZOTY.  Lance has consistently contributed and always shares an enthusiastic take on shows (and sports for that matter).   His takes are readable (is that the bar these days??) and his support of Viva is consistently positive.  He has a strong love for the "clubhouse" and helps steady the waters in this kiddie pool of ours. 

For your consideration.   GTTS!

When you registered for the zone you signed an loyalty oath not to boycott Viva, it’s board or any ZMA events  

Violations of said oath are punishable by implementing increased complexity on the mathematical calculation needed to login

or disabling your ability to post properly sized photos.  Be careful with your calls for a boycott T.O.D.  

 

this thread sucks :(

This has been a farce ever since Ian Anderson won....

I appreciate the support Rando, but I'm pretty sure I blew my shot when I said that I liked the Dead & Co show I saw this year more than the David Byrne show I saw.

Plus, I don't think I had or forced a ratable meltdown this year, which I believe is mandatory.

And finally, I don't dislike Ross James, which puts me right out.

Normally I vote for JohnnyD, but he hasn't posted in a while. I hope he's OK.

The guy with one wife at home & one wife missing/on the run provided some very good subject matter, but then he bailed when the going got tough.

As usual hoover will likely be a finalist with his unique ability to be both an offensive provocateur as well as providing regular content zoning, which is rare. Most of us hang on one side of that line or the other, while hoover consistently rates highly on both sides.

As always I will abide by the judges infinite wisdom and accept whomever they choose.

>I'm a bit player on Viva, the small tree on the side stage of the zone. 

 

Is is that so Vladimir, I am suspecting Russian interference from this comrade 

>>Who was the 2017 ZOTY?

I'm taking a knee

I heard they can't even get anyone to host the ceremony this year

Last year’s ZOTY tried to decline the award to protest Harley Davidson’s outsourcing or some shit. Couldn’t really tell, I remember the explanation being a little uncecipherable through all the frothiness. I recall they ultimately flip-flopped and accepted the Zonie.

I always thought it'd be cool to have some sort of polling function on the Zone.

this thread sucks :(<<<

Winner!

Thanks for your contributions Frank3 and Jazz

I don't get a vote (thank you Super Delegates).

But, if I did, it would go to: AlanR aka Stone Sculptor

Flip flopping been haps

Where is the official list of nominees?  Very unorganized process here and in years past there was a board of directors, senior admin, junior admin, nominee director, inside director, and an outside director.

Can we vote online?

>>> I'm pretty sure I blew my shot when I said that I liked the Dead & Co show I saw this year more than the David Byrne show I saw.

 

u can say that again!

when I read about it I immediately made my kids throw away their action lance newberry dolls and burn their GTTS jerseys.

when my eldest tried to get me to concede how much John Mayer has grown as a guitarist I slapped her smart mouth and threw her out into the street.

she's pretty savvy for a 6 year old but I'd appreciate it if u guys could keep an eye on her if she turns up on the next dead co. tour.

Thanks and happy holidays, everybody!

Alan R is a good nomination.  

Hall's Weinemouche travelogue was probably the best thread of the year, although Noodler is a contender for his volcano and other earth science work.

"GTTS jerseys"

 

 

Lol

 

 

AlanR for best tutorial of the year. Stand up zoner I had the pleasure of sharing a mead with at a small festival earlier this year.

He is a controversial free zoner.

Vote

 

 Jazfish on Thursday, April 19, 2018 – 12:13 am 

David Cassidy's dick is so big his dick has it's own dick. David Cassidy's dick's dick is bigger than most dicks

Dork central up in here. 

Screw it, I'm voting for Alan too

Can we also vote on changing viva la to something halfway respectable.

 

 

Slacker gets my vote.

Is Fog's squirrel beard up for anything this year?

It’s in the running for best body hair along with Java Daves shoulders

Pretty sure your douchestache and St. Mark's toupee are running neck and neck in that category, Timbo.  

 

Did you have to interrupt sex to post that?

 

”Excuse me baby, Hoover is getting me all wrong on the zone again.”

Not one Halloween pic this year, totally disappointing.

I’m sure gravy was sad too. You guys will just have to self pleasure to the old ones.

Is there a nomination for best zoner rivalry of the year?

 That should go to Alan and Bluelight 

My take is that if we were honest, Judit would win it every year.

So, what I propose is that we rename the award  "The Judit".

 

AlanR in for the " The Judit".

 

If Alan R vives a shit.

The real question is, who will  host of this year's award ceremony? Do we trust that  SpanJam is scandal free and up to the task?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What the hell are you mumbling about in your last post, TH? Try to keep me out of your head. Just try.

 

I would go with 4 winds for Zoner the year lady & Timmy Hoover for Zoner of the year guy.

It should be called "The Judit"

 

>>>>>What the hell are you mumbling about in your last post

 

I’m  taking about the pictures of Ateix and I you save you your computer and masturbate to.

What a weird thought. No wonder I couldn’t understand your nonsense. 

Jezzus, It's that time of year again? Zonie-time? Again? I feel like that guy in the GroundHog movie, who wakes up knowing that the coming days wil be useless. I think that's the movie.

I'm a little discombobulated because I just flew in from a California (and boy are my arms tired). Before we commence any activities I'd like to impart a pearl of wisdom to any Holiday travelers:

Visit your relatives a week or two BEFORE Christmas...This year we actually convinced them to do the whole family gathering / presents thing early - I mean the tree is already up --, and it made for a much more relaxing experience. And now we have the chance to spend the Holiday at home for once (so less stress, then, too.). Most importantly, we had an empty middle seat between us BOTH ways, there's no lines at the urinals, and best of all, everyone is in a genuinely good mood. And fly thru Phoenix if you have to stop. Mellow airport.

Sadly, although I was in Sacramento on Monday, I did not get a chance to visit Mylar's bar for his evening show. I can verify the place exists. I was in the neighborhood around lunch, and ended up at a nearby hipster BBQ /brewery (Urban Foods?) that had decent food, but small portions. Checking out a CA rec dispensary was on the bucket list but it was disappointing. Slightly overpriced compared to the medical dispensary here and seemed less well stocked and a little more sleazy than a typical comparable Colorado establishment. Honestly, holding a big bag of Humbolt's finest in 1988 was much more satisfying.

 

Before we commence the jocularity, share our soul crushing insights about our little community with each other, celebrate our dead, and communally experience the general feeling of flailing around in a dark-screen-world not of our own making, we need to remind ourselves why we gather annually, peacefully and reverently:

To beat each other with a smirking little statue.

Amen.

>>u can say that again!

when I read about it I immediately made my kids throw away their action lance newberry dolls and burn their GTTS jerseys.

when my eldest tried to get me to concede how much John Mayer has grown as a guitarist I slapped her smart mouth and threw her out into the street.

she's pretty savvy for a 6 year old but I'd appreciate it if u guys could keep an eye on her if she turns up on the next dead co. tour.

Thanks and happy holidays, everybody!<<

 

Haha, savage.

Alan,

Keep in mind the Oscars only allow 45 seconds.  

Hmm, are we sure Dave's masturbating to your pics and not printing them and taking a dump on them?

<Hmm, are we sure Dave's masturbating to your pics and not printing them and taking a dump on them?>

Wow, this guy is jumping right in! He could be in contention for Best-Zoning-at-the-Zoniies Award. I don't know what that means exactly or who he is talking too, but that post covers a lot of territory. I might need a second cup of coffee to follow what's going on.

We may have to Zonie-Meme it since I can see this sentiment being expressed in all sorts of Zoning situations.

Well, at least I am now being depicted as a younger woman closer to my actual age.

Hi 4winds. Unfortunately for me, I cannot accept any awards as I am presumably ineligible, being the only paid staff ths year (judges and clean up crew are volunteer).

Judith has me vending at the merch booth. This year it's commemorative postcards.

However, I might chime in occasionally, as I'm near the stage by the trail to the port-a-pottys and I have my camera with me.

(As you know, due to lack of funding, this year the Zonies are being held in Judith's backyard.)

I think I see her now. 

But I'm not sure -- they all dress like that up here -- even when the Fair has been over for 6 months.

Judit learned about tub girl this year.  Are you familiar, Alan?

I won the Zonie in 2000, and that pic isn’t me! You better get your shit straight, Rodin, or you’re job is on the line.

<<Judit learned about tub girl this year.  Are you familiar, Alan?>>

My god women, of course I've witnessed the depth of man's depravity .. I worked for the government once. And stood in line outside the Warfield before a Jerry show many a night.

hmmm, between the dump talk, tub girl talk, and that second cup of coffee... I gotta go.

For the sake of the children, when I get back can we go back to nominating, so the judges have some fodder to base their awards on?

BrianK... due to copyright infringement issues and having no money and such, the Zonie Steal Your Wallet Right Off Your Face Merchandise Committee was forced to hire Burmese counterfeiters to manufacture this year's schwag. I'm sure they used a generic hippie picture.

But in the past few minutes, we've received dozens of real pics of you from 2000 in our DropBox folder. I was never aware of the punchbowl incident until now. I will throw them in the bonfire, my friend.

>>I worked for the government once. And stood in line outside the Warfield before a Jerry show many a night.

Undercover?  Is this sculpting hobby just a ruse?

>>>action lance newberry dolls and burn their GTTS jerseys<<<

As long as you paid retail I don't care what you do with them after that.

The hat-down feature on the dolls is pretty cool though.

There should be a category for "Best Russian Troll."

Thom and "Bryen" would probably tie.

No 4Winds, better than law enforcement ... Social Security.... in a building with close to 10,000 people in it (and some serious computers). Basically all trying to help people on the macro level, while eating a lot of doughnuts and having a lot of meetings. It was a trip. (What really happens in government and contractor meetings is worthy of another post in the future -- your tax dollars at work).

Maybe it's me, but I'm noticing your posts this year were mainly just blunt instruments of destruction. You've gradually lost your edge ever since the Nick guy left.. and we count on you to be a feminine voice of passive aggressive cutting insults but, alas, it's down to shit references and narc innuendos. It doesn't make me want to read your stuff or respond to your recent posts much. But it is the Zonies. Everyone gets to shine. 

But again, let's stick to nominating... do you have any ideas? Related to music, politics, weed, sports, favorite threads, your online friends, etc.  We got the great nature threads, the Bluelight craziness, concert reviews, and plenty of good old cock / cockess fight threads. Would you like to put your name in contention for any category? 

 

>Sadly, although I was in Sacramento on Monday, I did not get a chance to visit Mylar's bar for his evening show. 
You mean you weren't the guy who wouldn't let us leave until we played "Big Boss Man"? Nice tip from that dude, BTW.
Also, if you had been there, you would not have had to visit a dispensary.

>>Would you like to put your name in contention for any category? 

You don't nominate yourself.

 

Yes, I do have plans for nominations.  However, there is some shadiness in this thread as I stated earlier.

Overall this group is classified as 'not well' and this is directed at quite a few of you.

 

Alan looks to be in contention, confused slightly incoherent and unable to fully comprehend posts. Superior qualities.

To clarify, someone nominated Alan then Judit and i nominated Slacker.

Fog gets a nomination for his subtle, often missed, humor....once again, somewhere , he s always seems to have one joke (worthy of a smile at least, not all are full blown laugh out louds etc) in every thread that flys under the radar....

 

And , he strikes yet again here....therefore, worthy of my totally meaningless nomination.

 

<Alan looks to be in contention, confused slightly incoherent and unable to fully comprehend posts. Superior qualities.>

Fog, thank you. I just got off a plane, and wih the jet lag thing I'm not at my best. (I guess I havta start reading at the top of the thread -- damn, I was trying to avoid doing that.)  Much appreciated, though. But I'm certainly not worthy, as my "Jerry's Cars" threads don't ever hit 100 posts. I just can't do the banter (unless I am very hungover).

I do enjoy illustrating threads though, as I see the Zone as a comic book of sorts. I forget, are you currently a  Zone villain or a hero?

I do nominate Slacker for the dubious "Most Posts / Fewest Words" award. (Though a couple weeks ago I noticed a few mullti-sentence paragraphs.)

His cryptic Buddha-like posts often hold hidden wisdom. 

Best wardrobe, rope belt nomination for Jamboner.

I think you can say "hemp" Ateix, now that it's legal... (I think I read that recently.)

This NSFW pic just appeared in our DropBox, entitled "actual Zoner model." Very stylish indeed!

"These are made with 100% Hemp Webbing, and thick Leather. The buckle and eyelets are antique brass giving this belt a natural look. These belts are sewn with very thick thread, and are built to last. Very stylish too!"

<<...nomination for Jamboner....>>

Speaking of boner jokes, it still cracks me up how the art director for the record company deliberately positioned this kid's stare.

I think the album cover art was retribution for Art bad-mouthing acid.

(Note to 21st century online police - I've been assured that no real children were actually exposed to anything sleazy in the original photo-shoot -- it's merely a collage, though Art's facial expression is somewhat suspect.)

Now back to our equally tasteless regular programming...

If it was up to admin, the winner of this award would be based on who started the most happy birthday and RIP threads.  

Speaking of tasteless, I'm pretty sure this year's "Girl's Gone Wild" award goes to Nancy and 4Winds' black screen slugfest.

I hereby formally nominate them, but I think it's an easy win.  (We'll have to saw the statue in half and have security present during the award ceremony, of course).

It's kind of a shame two of the handful of women still Zoning have embraced the slime-coated discourse so prevalent around here rather than utilize their inherent gentleness to set an example for the rest of us, but I'm sure they occasionally need to blow off some steam, too.

I had to cover my ears just to read that one foul fowl post....maybe I'll track it down so we can relive some of those great Zoner zingers... 

on second thought, maybe not.

 

 

 

 

<<<..this award would be based on who started the most happy birthday and RIP threads...>>>

I think these are subsets of the more encompassing "Jerry Poppins Award" given to the most compassionate Zoner.

Winner gets a spoonful of "sugar" to help the "medicine" go down.

JR - I always thought an algorithm launched the Bday threads, but if someone still really keeps a paper calendar, it would open up the possibility of printing up a Zoner pinup calendar for inclusion in the Zonie schwag bag.

>award goes to Nancy and 4Winds' black screen slugfest.

 

Yeah. Thanks, dude.

 

And you know we want to see the  foul fowl post you're referring to! something that should always proceed the award presentation. 

 

 

Sorry, just a quick question: Is there a 'Best Post' Category? Like, just one post that totally friggin' nailed it? 

<<<And you know we want to see the  foul fowl post you're referring to! something that should always proceed the award presentation. >>

I think I blocked the details from my mind, since despite my acceptance of dark humor, I lose interest when the word Nazi is bandied about. Reposting that might be like digging up a corpse.

I sincerely hope you gals can bash each other in the year ahead more cleverly while also including some ripped stockings pics to satisfy the collective juvenile fantasy of a good catfight. You are longtime, experienced Zoners and I know you will deliver.

<<<just a quick question: Is there a 'Best Post' Category?>>> 

Sorry, I read that as "Best Pot" category. Without perusing the entire Weed folder, I'm not sure we can make that call so easily.

Please chime in for the coveted "Weed-We'll-Sadly-Never-Get-A-Chance-To Smoke" award.

I always admired the Flo pics from Big Sur (Holy fuck!). I think Doc Martin's girls from Humbolt and some weed from Vermont of all places was also in the running in the pro division.

But I seem to also remember Turtle's lone horticultural experiment and nominate him for "Best Verified over-18 Amateur" effort.

Not everything in Vivaland is a laughing matter.

Surprisingly and sadly, this year Shakin Nagan is again leading the pack in the respectfully solemn "Zoner With The Most Deceased Musician Friends" category.

I don't know what it is about him, but either he hangs out with a lot of elderly guys, or someone is spiking their "High" with something nefarious. Again, no disrespect intended to the fantastic musicians, but I'm personally not going to partake when partying with his crew.

Personally, I wish he would post more travel adventures and backstage reveals in addition to the obituaries, cause he could probably win "Most Jamband Festivals Attended."

Condolences and we all hope for a 2019 filled with well-being. You and your buddies bring joy to the world. Much appreciated.

On-scene update from Judith's back yard:

The early arrivals (those lonely souls without other Holiday plans) are starting to trickle in, and the elders don't know what to do besides nap and attempt percussion-related activities. As you know, drum circles with even trained musicians can be painful to experience, but for some reason, old Deadheads insist upon trying to summon the Jerry spirits by pretending to know how to drum.

Several Zoner millennials have also arrived with plans to pester their elders with drones, accordions, references to obscure jazz musicians, and artisan cheese that the old folks are not allowed to eat.

 

 

Where's Java Dave and Graivy?

At your house.

Allan is making a strong push for the award in this very thread.

"Jerry Poppins Award"

That made me smile.

Agreed, Alan is making a fine showing in here. Unlike a few others.

And when Lance says 'you're better than that' he knows you're actually not better than that and really means you can do better than that.

Sorry But Alan R Cracks Me The HELL UP ! Awesome

Best goodbye cruel zone thread

https://www.vivalazone.org/other-stuff/come-join-net

 

It was started in 2017 but was active in 2018.

I’d like to take a moment to address the Bluelight issue.

The way I see it, there are two choices:

1. He is an imaginary persona.
2. He is a real person.

If he is an imaginary persona, you gotta admit it’s a brilliant deep cover 2018 slow Zone troll. Over the year we all watched him gradually morph from happy jamband music reviewer / helpful Zoner chef to angry-arrogant audio engineer / sleepless software savant. (I always thought he was a hippie chat bot experiment launched by some grad students on the Ratdog board.) “His” bipolar rants and ramblings took a while to decipher, but they were entertaining. Was he a genius or an acid casualty?

Making “him” (and us) suffer daily from Mini-Movie Madness was in itself a masterful literary stroke, but being evicted by his own family, being busted by the local police, and becoming a homeless guy living in his car STILL making music videos in the local library, was a brilliant twist – and created a misfit Deadhead character that we all could cheer for. Until “he” started begging online and continued to go to more concerts than I do – then my affection for his shtick wilted. 

On the other hand, if he is a real person: Wow --- Susan from YouTube might really want to switch emails. At some point I guess I will kick down some $ to his GoFundMe campaign.

Besides not clicking his endless YouTube links (apparently posted to monetize his addiction), I bet we all found ourselves checking his posts to see what shenanigans he was up to. I know I want to see how the story ends.

Therefore, I think Bluelight deserves ZOTY!

Thread of the year - Ateix and is nurturing of his psychedelic thread 

 

nice work youngster

Thanks Alan. Both you and Druba and many here do a lot leg work with links, stories, photographs, and new threads.

Its great, thanks guys.

Get ahold of yourself, Alan.

 

<<<nice work youngster>>>

Face it you decaying dinosaurs that actually saw Jerry play....one day the OZs (hmmm, a second good use of that word) will die off and a younger generation will take our place...ones that can only reminisce about DeadCo, DSO and Melvin's JGB. So, as obnoxious as they are, we have to embrace and nurture them. It's not their fault you dragged them to soccer lessons every weekend and left your weed lying around the house.

(And when they get to our age, boy are they gonna regret getting all those wrinkly, undecipherable tattoos.)

Therefore I guess we have to nominate Ateix for the "Best Potential Retirement Home Aide" award.

At least he might put headphones on us  -- and he already puts up with our shit (which he will have to do, literally).

 

Hmm, I'm not sure about that. As Jimmy Cliff once sang:

"I'd rather be a free man in my grave,
than have ateix as my retirement home aide"

Spastic Coltrane would be torturous in a retirement home. I would run him over with my walker and steal his symbol of purity promise ring.

I yield my conomination and vote of AlanR to Bluelight  do to AlanR's advice and superior wordsmithing skills.

BLUELIGHT.

<<<Get ahold of yourself, Alan.>>>

I'm trying 4Winds.... don't worry, my bottle of Adderall that I stole from my nephew is almost gone. But I could use some help. I gotta go sell some stickers at Judith's merch booth.

Thankfully, I just received this dispatch from our Colorado Desk:

The Colorado crew is preparing for the grueling roadtrip to the 2018 Zonies!

St Mark has been spotted praying outside a Denver liquor store trying to change sippy cup leftovers into high-quality whiskey. (St Mark has apparently throttled back his Zoning because 1- he probably has more important things to do in life; and 2 - his wife caught him always posting to some goddess chick named RRG). Mark, I hope you can get here in time for the judging and award ceremony.

And the original Cool Kids Table is gathering in Denver (as soon as the midnight madness glitter sale is over in Boulder). We haven't seen them in some time. I hope they bring some of them vape pen doohickeys. (4Winds, I hope that's not you tagging along...they don't take kindly to flatlanders, no matter how much one flatters them.)

Guys with bad vandykes really do not like me.

my kids just told me that saying vandykes is the equivalent of saying slacks

Speaking  of Zoner stalwarts... no Zonie Awards ceremony after-party "All Star and Friends-too-many-musicians-up-on-stage-jam-session" would be complete without Mr Hoover baring his posterior to the masses. The ladies all go wild for that sort of stuff.

To encourage him to make an appearance again this year, the Zonie committee melted down some gold fillings we found next to some old Deadhead with an original Monterey Pop headband on (ok they might have technically been in his/her mouth) and made a special one time trophy... (this one we could call the Judiith, cause maybe they were her fillings -- not sayin)

The vandyke is the lego hair of the chin.

>>>>>my kids just told me that saying vandykes is the equivalent of saying slacks

 

I thought vandykes were a couple of lesbians in a microbus.

Combining a vandyke with lego hair is basically like sporting the official helmet of Team Midlife Crisis.

I am sorry that your children were not able to provide assistance sooner, 6.

Mid life? I wish I was still near midlife. With an average life expectancy of 78 - what is midlife- around 39?

Where's JR?

Out looking for you !

I'm glad 6 and Gravy are showing up. These guys are all over the Zone (like ants at a picnic) and deserve an award. "Most Contentious" or something.

After all this time I can't figure out if they are Zoner good guys or Zoner bad guys, as they always seem to be tussling about something with someone. Alliances shift like a bad Survivor episode. 

Could we perhaps have a cage match? (if Judith doesn't think that will be too violet.) They could bounce around the ring and slam each other and pummel the audience with folding chairs and toss easy-break bottles. It could be a good diversion while waiting for the awards ceremony.

       vs        

 

Look, I've changed genders. I'm no longer a woman. Smashing!

There's no beef between us, Alan. Good looking out though! Glad you've found my "Magic" playing card. 

Foghorn's got it figured out, as usual.

(((The Good Ones)))

Damn, that was a loooonnggg ass commercial...what are we getting for a spot this year???

Bryen is making a last minute push that might deserve to b in contention

So, lot's of noise in this thread, but still no actual announcement of this year's ZOTY.

Perhaps boredom has set in?

 

My vote goes to ateix because no one else represents all of us so well. He is truly the spirit that inhabits all of us here, for better or worse.

>Combining a vandyke with lego hair is basically like sporting the official helmet of Team Midlife Crisis.

Vision of Maury from Good Fellows are dancing thru my head

 

 

i would post a picture but it’s time for my nap