Grief and loss

This shows just how heavy grief really does weigh on a person. It's intense. 

Love to you, Judit. I know how hard it is to lose those that we love. 

Life is indeed a journey 

and as I read recently one of the very hardest things of getting old is losing loved ones

grief is powerful and can be debilitating 

if you think about it there is no love without loss

 Something else interesting I read about aging yesterday was happiness comes from not looking at the future or looking at the past 

be here now ........

 We, all of us are in the same boat     And thinking about your loss only suggest that you had love and have love

mindfulness and love to you dear lady

Judit ! I Have Trained Myself Not To  Let It Affect Me as Much as It Used To -  Having Much In My Life - Still A Work In Progress In THE HERE AND NOW One Day At A Time

Still Have Not Lost a Brother or Sister and i Have 6 of Them

I WILL NOT Cowar Like The Rock Sculpture - Faith Is Stronger Than That

I am sorry to read of your losses and situations.

Wishing you strength.

Fuck illnesses!!!!!!

 Posting this as well in case my note doesn't reach you:

Love 
Mindfulness

If you do an abstraction of it all, it only means you have a lot to celebrate

I'm visualizing the twinkle in your eye in the warmth of your spirit

That's all I got right now

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well I got this too.  There is no guilt associated with your grief. Having them transition to a different form and place and energy is not on you

another type of grief to process and deal with is the grief of having hurt others,  or even yourself.  I'm working on some of that  by working to increase mindfulness, tolerance and compassion and kindness and decrease my tendency to be opinionated and annoyed or even angry over nothing     Ego too big, heart too small

It sucks,J.

I tend to say, keep on truckin so much I get funny looks.

I remember Betsy, in the other folder, mentioning grieving is living. I think of her words.

Keep on truckin.

Hang in there Judit!  I lost some family, former bandmates, old friends, and many others this year as well, it really took a toll on me!  I stopped going out, started smoking way more weed (not that that's a bad thing), and stopped doing those tweener activities that i'd normally do.  Fortunately a musician friend (and prankster) dragged me out to a few concerts, and other activities, helped get my batteries charged again.  It still hurts, but at least i'm being active again.

My "pay it forward / make a wish come true" for this year will be bringing a mining buddy with cancer (kidneys) out to my Idaho claims to collect a bunch of really cool copper minerals (malachite, azurite, chrysocolla), and perhaps some gold, native silver, garnets, and sapphires. My last make a wish buddy passed shortly after our trip a few years ago, only 32, he barely made it, but he'd never been underground before, so we got him hundreds of feet down into the depths of mother earth, a dream come true!  He got to take home a pile of cool things from Montana as well (old mill balls, specimens, nice gold, etc).  

So be strong my fellow aging zoners, and remember;

Love them all, trust a few, and always paddle your own canoe!

It's tough getting Older and watching your Family & old Friends die off.

Family remaining are people I don't even hang with,  or lost touch. 

To be honest,  I look at that sculpture and think "nice artwork"  and immediately my farmer brain says :: couple good Tomato cages,  and 1/2 yard of Potato Rock for the eroding Woods roads.

Big Quartz rock like that is a nice base for smaller 3/4" gravel to keep the clay in place.

Back in 1969 my freshman roomie had a large psychedelic style poster - "The Burden of Life is Love". We modified it to just Life is Love. We were far to young to understand. Now that I have attained a certain age it becomes clear. Love can be a burden, and especially when the subject/object of that love is taken away. But we pay it willingly, because what else have we got?

One of the things that originally attracted me to the Grateful Dead way back then was that they were one of the only groups that understood and played the essential sadness of life, punctuated by brief bursts of love and joy. Life in the face of entropy.

It's tough getting old, but even tougher to see your friends and family get old and fade away. My heart goes out to you, Judit.

 Judit- you have a huge heart and so much more.  Understood the pain runs deep and to the core.  You are a remarkable soul. xoxo

Well put ^ Its so true.

Wow......

Many in the close tribe this year have passed.

Maybe we can now call 2018 the year of death.

Take care Judit 

Sorry to hear, judit...lots love, hugs, and positive energy sent your way...

I , too, think thats a pretty powerful piece of art etc. Grieving is a process, and it is important that we recognize the feelings are our own, and theyre natural. Sounds like you know that by your last post , J. It is def ok to be sad and ok at same time. I lost my Dad when i was real young, and i had no idea what to do w the feelings i was feeling, so i drank....alot..so as not to feel them. That doesnt work at all. Fifteen years later when i stopped that 15 year binge, i felt the same feelings, and now i hadnt dealt w them. Trust the process, trust your feelings...it totally sucks to lose close ones, and my heart goes out to you for the year you are having and for the loss of course they are going to remind you of. You are surrounded by love though. Allow yourself to feel that as well.

One thing that helps me now, during a time of loss, i really lean on the things i love...whether theyre ppl, places , or things...music, nature, kids, animals, whatever it may be.

(((Judit)))

Oh, and FUCK cancer

Very sorry to read this, Judit. I have no words of wisdom, just the callouses that have accumulated over the years.

Hope you find the strength to get through. 

Dear Sweet Judit,

My heart is heavy for you (and other friends who are grieving).

It's a mixed blessing to live long enough to lose the ones you love.

And grief waxes, wanes, and changes over time.

Jambone, I hear what you are saying about embracing the joys of life.  Alternately, I've lately been feeling that if I can survive without my Dad, I can survive without "this" (material object that I have previously been afraid to lose).  Strange thing.

Lets keep living through it all.

memories get me thru.  Make good times to think about when things get heavy.- cuz they always do.  My best bud passed of cancer couple years back way way too young, still makes me sad everyday. But I'm also guaranteed a good belly laugh each day thinking bout the crazy fun we had.  He would want me to keep having fun for him.  ((CDL))

hugs to those who need them. 

As corny as it is to quote lyrics, I really believe that 'the end' is never told, and that we all roll into one.

Still doesn't make it hurt any less in the here and now.

Wishing you peace.

Love to all....no exceptions...