The Four Agreements

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Hi, sweet Scarlet. I read it a long time ago and don't think I could discuss the book intelligently, but the 4 Agreements sure make sense as things to aspire to and live.

Be impeccable with your word.

Don't take anything personally.

Don't make assumptions.

Always do your best.

Reading the list just now I'm reminded that I posted in the Very Fat Americans thread from a personal place, taking the OP personally. That's me, aspiring, not always living it.

Ive read it a cpl times, and read The Mastery of Love and The Voice of Knowledge, also by Ruiz.

I got a ton of help from all of them. Ive read The Four Agreements a cpl times (and need to read again, i like Judit, read it ages ago), and it used to preside on my bedside table for referance etc.

I did not like The 5th Agreement which i thought was just an agreement w author and publisher on how to capitalize and make $ off first book. Kind of left a bad taste etc, thinking, cmon!! , ya didnt know there was a 5th originally??? Haha...but, thanks for reminder of a great book, a great author, and its def time for me to read again.

Enjoy!

So what happens when there's another set of "rules", for example:

Never be afraid

Always be tender

Own a BS Detector, and know how to use it

And....;)

Thanks for inspiration...i just found my copy of The Mastery of Love (A Practical Guide to the Art of Relationships), and i googled author and see he has two recent works i d like to read:

The Toltec Art of Life and Death (2015)

The Three Questions (2018)

Thanks again, Scarlet for this reminder....there are no coincidences, i NEED to read the agreements again.

Have a great day......all.

I read this book in 2012 and it was kind of the re-entry point into my search for "Happiness" and "Spirituality". I was born in 61, became a Dead Head in 77, and felt that sometime in the nineties I had lost much of my true enjoyment of life, so I started reading up on the topic. Four Agreements is an easy read, but as mentioned above, very difficult to practice consistently. I believe one of the keys of awareness is to understand that our brains are hardware, and the software the brain runs comes from outside sources, but we can update that software in ways that are beneficial. Of course it is a gradual process to update your software, and the process never ends.

Eckhart Tolle does a nice job of addressing the EGO in "A New Earth". 

Another book I found beneficial is "The Untethered Soul".

Timber Hawkeye has a couple of books out regarding the Buddhist approach. Good stuff.

Yoga has the Yamas and Niyamas (the book I have is by Deborah Adele).

When the Chocolate Runs Out is a quick and easy read that cuts to the chase.

And the book and movie (I saw the movie, did not read the book) The Way of the Peaceful Warrior is good. "There is no higher calling than to be of service to others". I try to stay focused on others rather than myself, which I find highly enriching. Of course to be of service to others you do have to tend to your needs first in order to be healthy (emotionaly, mentally, physically, etc.) and perform said service. I tell folks at work my job is to make everybody else's job easier.

And here are my seven daily affirmations (from Jonathan Lehmann through a meditation app called "Insight Timer"):

1. I make plans, but I remain flexible and open to the surprises that life has in store for me. I try to say “yes” as often as possible.

2. I cultivate patience, and by doing so I also cultivate self-confidence.

3. I welcome the opportunity to step outside of my comfort zone, and I do not let myself be guided by fear.

4. I love myself unconditionally, because it’s essential to my happiness. I love the person that I am, and I do not need other people’s approval to love myself fully.

5. I’m going to drink water, eat fruit and vegetables, walk, take the stairs, exercise. Today I’m giving love to my body.

6. I give everywhere I go, even if only a smile, a compliment, or my full attention. Listening is the best gift I can give to those around me.

7. I try to be impeccable with my word, and to speak only to spread positivity. It’s counterproductive to my happiness to speak against myself or against others.

Thanks for asking!

I've read the book.  Granted it was years ago.  Also, if anyone hasn't read it you can find a copy for cheap.

The other set of rules:

1. Be patient. No matter what.
2. Don’t badmouth: Assign responsibility, not blame. Say nothing of another you wouldn’t say to him.
3. Never assume the motives of others are, to them, less noble than yours are to you.
4. Expand your sense of the possible.
5. Don’t trouble yourself with matters you truly cannot change.
6. Expect no more of anyone than you can deliver yourself.
7. Tolerate ambiguity.
8. Laugh at yourself frequently.
9. Concern yourself with what is right rather than who is right.
10. Never forget that, no matter how certain, you might be wrong.
11. Give up blood sports.
12. Remember that your life belongs to others as well. Don’t risk it frivolously.
13. Never lie to anyone for any reason. (Lies of omission are sometimes exempt.)
14. Learn the needs of those around you and respect them.
15. Avoid the pursuit of happiness. Seek to define your mission and pursue that.
16. Reduce your use of the first personal pronoun.
17. Praise at least as often as you disparage.
18. Admit your errors freely and soon.
19. Become less suspicious of joy.
20. Understand humility.
21. Remember that love forgives everything.
22. Foster dignity.
23. Live memorably.
24. Love yourself.
25. Endure.

-John Perry Barlow

To keep life simple I stick with 3:

Try and do something beneficial for your self every day.

Try and do something beneficial for another every day..

Try and do something creative every day.*

(the act of trying is a key activity)

*It doesn't have to be something conventionally artistic - but by engaging in creating something new, a human can temporarily transcend earthy constraints.

Elizabeth Gilbert wrote a book called Big Magic that addresses the creativity that Alan speaks about...another good read.

Good thread. Thinking back these are the things that have helped me.

First this Ted Talk by Dan Gilbert that pretty much boils down to the fact that the more choice we have the less happy we are, and when given a choice between more choice and less choice we always choose more choice. The American way.

https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_the_surprising_science_of_happiness

Second  The Tao of Physics taught me about looking for balance. The white and black circle in the Ying Yang symbol. Nothing  bad is without some good and nothing good is without some bad. The Christian/Cartesianism view of absolute striving for good or health or anything just leads to failure and unhappiness.

Finally another Ted Talk: Religion for Atheist talks about things those of who don’t believe can take from Religion. Things like repetition of the things we believe in. Secular people think that once you learn something you got it. No need to go back, but religious people think that certain “truths” are worth repeating daily, because we forget them. The other thing he talks about is travel with groups with a common purpose – pilgrimage for the religious touring for the rest of us. That is something I need to get back to. Not neccesarily around drug bands but need something else to replace that.

https://www.ted.com/talks/alain_de_botton_atheism_2_0?language=en

Try to read this every day but not successfully:

GO PLACIDLY amid the noise and the haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible, without surrender, be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even to the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story.

Avoid loud and aggressive persons; they are vexatious to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain or bitter, for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.

Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.

Exercise caution in your business affairs, for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals, and everywhere life is full of heroism.

Be yourself. Especially do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment, it is as perennial as the grass.

Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth.

Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here.

And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be. And whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace in your soul. With all its sham, drudgery and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

Great thread fellow humans!!

I indeed do need to work on myself ----- a lot.    I have the potential to be a good man / human

my ego is "my enemy" as "I" am so full of myself, and so impatient and quick to criticize it is silly

i am not as cool ( fill in the blank ) as I think