American Airlines Announces It Will No Longer Try To Match Seatmates By Interests
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FORT WORTH, TX—Explaining that only a small percentage of passengers ever hit it off to the point that they carry on a conversation for the duration of their flight, American Airlines announced Monday it will no longer attempt to match seatmates by their personal interests. “For years, American Airlines has committed itself to pairing up travelers with similar backgrounds, careers, and hobbies in the hopes they would take pleasure in each other’s company while en route to their destination, but the time has come to phase out this service,” said CEO Doug Parker, noting that the company could no longer justify the long hours that thousands of employees were dedicating day after day to making sure every customer was seated next to someone with whom they would enjoy a friendly exchange. “We initially expected lively conversation and laughter to fill our cabins, with an occasional passenger or two perhaps even striking up a friendship that would endure long after the plane had landed. With few exceptions, however, we’ve found that the vast majority of people just want to put on their headphones or take a nap.” Parker went on to stress that American Airlines would never suspend its extremely successful program of making the suitcases of romantically compatible passengers roll out next to each other on baggage carousels.
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Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: ________
is this today's airline blog?
is this today's airline blog?
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: 19.5 Degrees
It is what you make of it.
It is what you make of it.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: _
My first thought was "this
My first thought was "this has to be from the onion".
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: VivalaSchwa
I'm with you, Ender. It has
I'm with you, Ender. It has to be the Onion. I mean, why would you have thousands of people doing what a computer could do in a second?
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Lucky Day
His brain injury probably
It’s hard for Face to discern humor or satire among other basic communication skills. Just play along so he doesn’t get confused.
Cool article Face. Thanks for all you do here.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: smiley
<<<"this has to be from the
<<<"this has to be from the onion"
well, thats because it is!
lol.
https://www.theonion.com/american-airlines-announces-it-will-no-longer-t...
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: New & Improved
AA was responsible for me
AA was responsible for me meeting the wife on a flight to DFW. Now I find out it was just a parody? Fuck.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Bucky Badger
People choose their own seats
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: 19.5 Degrees
AA was responsible for me
AA was responsible for me meeting the wife on a flight to DFW<<<
Your unwavering support of the airlines now makes sense!
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: 19.5 Degrees
It’s hard for Face to discern
It’s hard for Face to discern humor or satire among other basic communication skills. Just play along so he doesn’t get confused.<<<
True story: used to make "phonies" on The Onion when they were first starting out in Madison, WI.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Sound and Vision
Like making crank calls in
Like making crank calls in middle school?
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: charmskooldropout
Do you have Prince Albert in
Do you have Prince Albert in a can?
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: 19.5 Degrees
Like making crank calls in
Like making crank calls in middle school?<<<
Yes ... although suspect this is a lost "art" in the modern age of caller-id
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Dr. Benway
not at all, in fact with the
not at all, in fact with the advent of easily obtainable internet phone numbers and youtube there are more crank calls than ever
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Bucky Badger
That’s right just look at all
That’s right just look at all of the people who get killed by swatting calls.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Bluelight
I got stuck in Puerto Rico's
I got stuck in Puerto Rico's San Juan airport on Easter weekend 1975, alone as 12 year old; because some moron guard working for American Airlines sent me to the wrong gate - NEWARK instead of NEW-YORK.
Slept on the floor for 3 days, running back and forth from gate to gate on stand-by until the Police got me out of there on a military charter home to NY.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: DaBreeze
I hate it when they seat
I hate it when they seat Deaheads next to Phishheads or DMB fans.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: ________
>DMB fans bluelight?
>DMB fans
bluelight?