Does anyone else have incredibly obstinate parents?
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Hi all! I hope this note finds you well and healthy.
My parents are driving me crazy. They watch the news and are intelligent people but holy crap!
My 76 year old mother just had hip replacement surgery in January and has quite a few health issues. She is in charge of the church food bank. Every 2 weeks she and my step father load, bag and distribute food for families in need. I have always supported her in her endeavors to help humanity but for her to even consider going out in public infuriates me.
My brother told her (half joking, half serious) " Mom, we are crippling the economy to protect your demographic"
Her response "I have a mask and will wear gloves. I will be fine" BTW, she was a nurse for 30 years and watches Fox.
My father is 75. He is very active, healthy, lives alone, owns his own accounting firm and still works full time. He was smart enough to cancel his dentist appointment for Thursday but refused to start working remotely yesterday. He just "had" to go to the office to make sure everything was in order. Are you fucking kidding me? He is a NPR guy.
I have sent factual information, had sincere discussions about loving and being worried about them, begged, pleaded, tried to scare them, gotten pissed off and yelled (to which I feel like a total bitch and a terrible daughter) but have not been able to get through to them that they do not have any need to be out and about. Both of them have support nearby but are so obstinate they won't accept any help. I am petrified that one or more of the older family clan will get sick since we are so behind in necessary actions to limit this pandemic.
Do any of our dear Zoners have any kind advise to help me become less angry at the Rents? I'm only pissed because I care and they really don't understand how the anxiety over their health affects me.
Thanks in advance for your advise. Be safe and wash your hands!
Love to all, no acceptions
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Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: fishcane
Big difference between
Big difference between”watching the news” and “staying informed”
thats the issue with with my folks
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: surjade
Its always been difficult
Its always been difficult (impossible) for me to have any substantive discussions with my parents.
Might as well be from another planet.
Socially we've come along way in the last 60-100 years.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Ramble on Rose
I get you Fish. I sent them a
I get you Fish. I sent them a sciencenews.org article about the contagious nature of this virus. No reply. It is a good read and shows the dire need for wide, numerous testing for all. https://www.sciencenews.org/article/coronavirus-most-contagious-before-d...
Me too Tree. Since Pop is an NPR guy we have pretty good communication skills, Mom is one of the brainwashed ones. Makes me so very sad.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: donster
Mel Brooks, Carl Reiner &
Mel Brooks, Carl Reiner & Dick Van Dyke may persuade them
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4S2v3DMnb10&feature=youtu.be&fbclid=IwAR...
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: treat island
My sisters and I all agree
My sisters and I all agree that we are relieved that our parents, who were the best, are no longer alive. They both died in the last 2 years and it is so much "easier" not worrying about them.
Good wishes to you, RRG, and everyone.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Briank
My parents are in their 80s
My parents are in their 80s and live in southern CT. My father is currently undergoing chemo and has no immune system.
The other day I suggested to my mother that perhaps they should get someone to do their grocery shopping for them because the supermarkets are madhouses down there. She said I was being ridiculous, that she wore a mask and used hand sanitizer.
She then read me the riot act for going to the gym, where there are never more than 7 people in there at a time.
What are you going to do?
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: MeditateontheQ
Idea: Find your intended
Idea: Find your intended messages on news sites that they respect and already watch / listen to.... and send them those stories.
I know from experience that elders can be deaf to advice from younger family members, just because of perceived hierarchy and ego.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: That’s Nancy with the laughin’ face
>and watches Fox.
>and watches Fox.
good luck, they're brainwashed and you need to just give up and understand they're lost to the cult.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Ken D.
My parents consistently
My parents consistently downplay any sort of man-made or natural disaster (except for the prevalence of gang violence which they tend to exaggerate) and think it is all media hype. I spoke with them the other day and not only were they not taking precautions to limit their potential exposure, they made a point of telling me about all the group activities they had planned in open defiance of the dire warnings. Thankfully, all the events they discussed have since been canceled much to their chagrin.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Oaksterdam Dan
Ego death (LSD) kills the
If we could only give them Ego death (LSD) kills the propaganda pushing false being within. Unfortunately most of our boomer parents didn't take it. Funny cause it's working in trials on elderly people facing terminal illnesses.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: 19.5 Degrees
My dad who just turned 80 is
My dad who just turned 80 is fairly well tuned into what's going on, but he's a type 1 diabetic and seems to handle "regular" colds / flu not nearly as well ... so I'm concerned about him even encountering one person he doesn't have to.
My mother who lives apart is 78 and she's an extremely social person who's gotten used to being dependent upon others to do her bidding, let alone being addicted to shopping ... so she's the one I'm most concerned about with some anxiety. She also has an evil twin who's an habitual lier & trump supporter who shadows my mother and brainwashes her. So, multiple layers going on!
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: A Bit of a Goddess
i got no words of wisdom but
i got no words of wisdom but plenty of virtual love and (purified)hugs
best to you and them, sis
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Johnny D
Have your parents (and
Have your parents (and everyone else you know) watch this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTxuo0gH_ho
It's scary AF, but lays things out pretty clearly and convinces me to do what I can to avoid gathering with other people unless the outing is "essential."
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: VivalaSchwa
Hey Now Merriweather Girl!
Hey Now Merriweather Girl!
I have a stubborn, well meaning brother who is a minister, and has continued to host Sunday gatherings, with precautions, for the past few weeks.
This has driven me nuts as he is the primary check on person for our 86 yr old Mother.
The shelter in place order in Ohio has finally stopped the madness.
Great to see you here again.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Def. High
>>>>>Unfortunately most of
>>>>>Unfortunately most of our boomer parents didn't take it.
Really?
I'm a "boomer", but I have tripped the light fantastic at least a hundred times. Everyone I know in my age range is well experienced.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Sycamore Slough
Hi Merri --
Hi Merri --
Both Mom and Dad passed away some years back. They were actually more capable of Communication as they approached Death.
Mom said that She had "Psychedelic Experience" watching the Clock on the wall in hospital. I explained that it was ordinary Wall Clock, and removed it from the wall, in order to show Her the mechanism.
Not sure if that helped any, but if She was tripping Out, I just wanted to let Her know that Everything Was Fine.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Sycamore Slough
Dad dropped Dead in his own
Dad dropped Dead in his own house with a Hospice Lady in attendance. He had been rescued from a round or two of Old Folk homes, and made it Home again. The Hospice Lady fell asleep about the time he dropped Dead. I think that it was Quite Nice for both; Her experiencing that and Dad leaving the House.
Few days prior, it was Easter - Time and we gathered a mess of People, had Snacks, and played some Acoustic Guitar Tunes while Dad was basically about to Drop Dead there on his Hospitality Bed.
I had some Acoustic Guitar Friends and Relatives over, and we Played an Hour or Two of Live Music.
Old Man was still conscious at the Time, and enjoyed the Swan Serenade. He was twitching his toes and Singing along :)
If that's the last tribute toward Poppa I could manage, that's OK. He was Happy to hear the Live Music.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Dr. Benway
im going down to visit my
im going down to visit my folks for the first time since this started next week...looks like my brother may be moving back in with them for a little while and arriving in june, hoping they will be willing to let me come down from mendo to go grocery shopping for them, and let my brother do it when he gets down there if things start getting real wild. cases in their county are low but they are fairly close to SF.
not sure what im going to do if they wont let us do the shopping for them - i watched my dad become "the adult" in his relationship with his parents as they got older, more eccentric, stubborn and out of touch.
im not ready to have to be "the adult" in my relationship with my parents - im hoping if cases in their county start getting really high they will let us shop for them, and buy me another 5 or 10 years of being the irresponsible child.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: MarkD
High MG! Good to see ya.
High MG! Good to see ya.
Good luck to you and all those posting above. These are trying times. My folks are gone, but I have an older friend that is the same way. He and his wife are very progressive. Voted for Bernie. Don't watch fox news. But he insists on going to the store every night. I and a couple others have offered to go to the store for them, but he will not have any of it. It is very frustrating. A couple of you may know who I am talking about, but please no names here.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Andean Flight
This is an excellent time to
This is an excellent time to recommend delivery shopping service to the older folks. My parents have been pretty good about staying in but they insist on going out every day to buy bread or something like that.
You can beat them to it if you just do their shopping for them online and have it sent to their house before they think about going out for it. It may cost a few dollars more, but it's worth it. Not custy at all in these times, but rather the smart thing to do, IMO.
Don't get close to the delivery person, have them leave everything outside your door, wipe it down with a sponge with some soapy water and then bring it in to the house. Lotta people touch stuff before it gets to shelves.
Good luck to you all!
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Rasputin O'Leary
^ good tips + back atcha
^ good tips + back atcha brother. When the shit gets real we step up and look out for one another.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Sound and Vision
Sadly my mom passed away last
Sadly my mom passed away last year. She was in the healthcare field for over 25 years and would probably be flabbergasted by the current situation. Of course she would handle the circumstances like a boss. My father has been in Florida for a month and didn't seem too worried at first. He is still out and about and opinionated. I worry about him and you can't tell him anything.
Top of Page Bottom of Page PermalinkFull Name: Sound and Vision
Dad will be back to IL in a
Dad will be back to IL in a couple of weeks. Wonder what he will do up here as he has a routine. He better be corona free.